Just like our houses and homes have walls and doors so do our lives need boundaries. Setting boundaries is an important aspect pf mental health wellbeing; It is also important in establishing ones Identity. A boundary can be defined as a limit or space between you and the other person; a clear place where you begin and the other person ends . . . The purpose of setting a healthy boundary is, of course, to protect and take good care of you
Boundaries can be physical or emotional, and they can range from being loose to rigid, with healthy boundaries often falling somewhere in between.
Below are the reasons we need to set healthy boundaries.
- Boundaries create a separateness that allows you to have your own feelings, make your own decisions, and know and ask for what you want without needing to please others.
- Healthy emotional boundaries mean you value your own feelings and needs and you’re not responsible for how others feel or behave. Boundaries allow you to let go of worrying about how others feel and places accountability squarely with the individual.
- Boundaries also keep you from overextending yourself. You can’t take on every project, work every shift, or be on every committee that you’re asked to join. Boundaries mean saying “no” to things that don’t align with your priorities.
- Whether it’s with a friend, spouse, neighbor, or boss, relationships function best when we know what’s expected. When you clearly communicate your boundaries, people know how they’re expected to behave. When expectations aren’t communicated and met, resentment and anger grow.
- Boundaries provide physical and emotional safety by keeping out what feels uncomfortable or hurtful.
The truth is that setting boundaries can disrupt relationship systems. You will probably get resistance. This is where assertiveness comes in, where you learn that ‘NO’ is a complete sentence. Sometimes this resistance isn’t as bad as you imagined. With time people get to embrace the new you.
Like most things, setting boundaries becomes easier with practice. It takes time to gain confidence and learn new skills. And it takes time for others to adjust to your new boundaries.
But be true to yourself, and fearless in the pursuit of your happiness!